#I also struggle with reading at times but mostly because of other issues but I understand what you mean

[arolesbianism]

Oxygen not included tag situation is getting DIRE I just had someone come at me and try to tell me to me face that nothing ingame states or implies the printing pod is sentient. You will not disrespect Olivia’s name in this manner…

Hhhholy shit I. How. I cannot even fathom how one could make such a bold statement without pulling out any sort of source considering literally everything in game far more than implies all of that and more. Me when I fucking lie. Me when I start making shit up. Me when I ignore multiple entire sections of the database. Me when I haven't played the video game. I'm so sorry for your loss and let it be known that however you handled that I would have handled it worse I am already at my wits end with more reasonable misunderstandings there's a reason I deliberately don't go talk to other oni fans my poor heart can't take the risk let alone the actuality

[agardenofbasil]

not the prev anon but i can't thank you enough for all the information and explanation. i'm neurodivergent and i love reading fics but sometimes i can't always read the emotions behind the character's actions so easily. so i really appreciate the explanation for all the emotions behind pedri crying ❤️ you're a great writer ❤️❤️

This is so kind of you to say. Thank you for sharing your struggles with reading; it's not always easy to read things (even when it's fic) when you're neurodivergent, so I'm glad I could help bridge that. We only get Unai's feelings because the story is in his POV, so I can understand why people would be confused by it. You're not alone! I hope Chapter 14 helps clarify some more, but I'm always here to help too, so please reach out whenever you'd like. Thank you for the lovely compliments, too. I hope you're doing well! 🍃💚

[sidsinning]

Apothecary Diaries is pog as fuck bc serious political issues and dynamics from a woman's POV are rarely depicted in ANY form of media

It's always a man's world where women's issues surround him. Even if we get a female perspective once in awhile- it all comes back to how it facilitates his game in the end. She's a footnote in the overarching scheme of things. Misogyny exists. Back to the real plot.

Apothecary Diaries is strictly from a female perspective and how each class of woman has to act, what limits they have, what rights they have and don't have between each class, etc. These women have to behave a certain way under a patriarchy, which you would think makes it a man's story, but it never is. The women are THE focus of this show, their struggles are THE plot. The focus is about how the patriarch effects them.

Take the concubines for example. The show dives into how bearing a child affects their rank, how traumatizing it is to lose that child, the consequences of that, etc. We have barely seen the emperor who sired all these kids because this is not about him.

Jinshi's personal plot is secondary to Mao Mao's journey- he is mostly there to provide new cases for Mao Mao to solve and to learn more about the shortcomings of his class when taking care of citizens like Mao Mao.

Jinshi is not a bad person, but by virtue of his position in the higher classes, he cannot understand how harsh life as a poor WOMAN is specifically- he can only catch glimpses of it from what Mao Mao tells him and feel outrage but powerless in his wealth and luxury

Mao Mao is a fortunate commoner woman for what privileges someone in her class should and shouldn't have. She happened to be adopted by a knowledgeable man. She is allowed to read, write, learn, and has enough skill to be a poison tester and have a job EXTREMELY out of her class limit as an apothecary, also a job not traditionally meant for women

Mao Mao is not a "noT lIkE oThER gIrLs" protagonist, she is FOR THE GIRLIES. She only wants to help the women around her, and women are whom she has the closest relationships to. She sees a woman being harassed and can't let it stand. She sees a frail, traumatized woman dying from the recklessness of those who should be caring for her and spends day and night nursing her back to health, while also punishing the people who were so careless with her needs.

My girl has STUDIED UP on THE BODY to TEACH these upper class ladies on how to really HEAT things up in the BEDROOM

Sex depicted in Apothecary Diaries is both something women are not shamed to be enjoying, while at the same time being acknowledged as an unfortunately huge economic necessity to market themselves.

Like shit is just so real in this series???

Listen, I can go on and on about how GOATED the series and especially Mao Mao is but you get the picture

[galene-gothic]

𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾’𝗌 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗            PAID SERVICES PATREON

SUMMER SALE ˖ TIP JAR

Note: In regard to their relationship with you.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

So, I wanted to see their pros and cons in relationship with you but I’m picking up on before the two of you get together here. I’ll just be pulling more cards to understand everything. Do you have a tendency towards possessiveness? Your future spouse is going to be highly capable of handling that. They’re going to be very communicative and quick to dissolve such issues by resolving them. You’ll receive quick communication from them often because they’ll know just how insecure you can get. They’re going to have a crush on you but will be quite shy when it comes to you. It’s like, they’ll be unable to process or express their feelings which is going to cause for the potential of the connection to not manifest initially but they’ll have a very innocent crush on you. They’re going to have similar childhood wounds to you or even if they’re not going to be similar, the triggers may be similar causing for a connection to come about naturally. Also, they’re going to be very good at manipulating you but not maliciously, it’s like, they’ll know the best way to get you triggered for you to activate and live out your potential, and you’re going to have a pretty good read on them so you’ll know what they’re trying to do but they’ll know how to make it come off unintentional and you’ll just let them get the benefit of the doubt xD. They’re going to be processing an ending at the time that you’ll meet them so they’re going to be scared of the unknown. I’m picking up on genuine wounds from them. You will enter their life in this time and they’re going to be a bit sensitive, and vulnerable at the time so it is going to be especially triggering for them to feel affection towards you because it will activate their childhood issues and more innocent, and delicate wounds making them even more sensitive and vulnerable.

So, they’re going to be scared of the unknown. They’ll be fearing the crossroads or struggling to make a decision due to the fear of pain as well because they’ll not yet have properly healed from past hurt as it is. They’re going to feel a strong tension with you and will have the ability to understand, and connect with you very soulfully. Like, you know those people who just get you on a psychic level? That’s how they’ll be with you but oddly enough, they’ll not be able to understand what exactly is coming through to them about you and you’ll remain a mystery to them. They’ll have their set of insecurities, worries and pain as we know by now but I’m picking up on the same energy from you too. For some of you, maybe they’ll not be the one who will have gone through everything mentioned above but you, but since I’m picking up on a shyness and fear of the unknown, and holding back from them. I believe that it will be mutual for many of you. You may be going through an ending or you may have not gotten over a past ending that caused you a lot of pain so you may be quite fearful of the future too and closed off to them due to your own wounds, and insecurities but it will be because of how vulnerable you’ll be feeling and how you’ll be worried about getting manipulated because you will be able to pick up on their manipulative tendencies, and how convincing they can be. Mostly, they’ll try out different techniques to help you so you’re going to give them the benefit of the doubt despite any resistance. When it comes to cons, you might remain friends for quite a while. Maybe because you’ll start off as acquaintances and friends, you’re both going to friend zone each other or they might friend zone you first, or you might feel as though they are doing so.

I find it so funny because ‘shy’ by Jai Waetford is the song that is coming through. They might not make much effort to spend time alone so despite the potential, you might feel like they’re a bit out of reach especially because they might come off very present. They’re going to seem present when they’ll be interacting with you but you’re going to feel like you’re getting mixed feelings from them. “Do they like me? Do they not like me?” Is the energy that I’m getting here. They might be a very busy person juggling a lot of responsibilities so you might not even bother them and for some of you, they’re going to have to make a choice because they might give too much priority to work and might not want a commitment yet or might not be ready for it or might literally have another love interest. You cannot stand feeling like an option so that is likely only going to slow down the process of things and make you more closed off to them but they’re going to feel really whole with you, as if they belong with you. If there is in fact, another person involved, I don’t think that their feelings for them would be even a quarter of the feelings that they’ll have for you but they’re going to have to awaken first, make a choice, judge things properly, choose to belong to you, choose to connect to you and that may take some time. You’re going to have the ability to have similar values but it’s like, you’ll also not. Due to timing, they’ll contradict and oppose your values, and you’ll not like that. You’re going to doubt your compatibility and values, and that will only make commitment harder. It’s like, despite the connection that you’ll share, you’ll rarely be on the same wavelength.

When you’ll want to talk to them, they might not want to do so, when they’ll want to talk to you, you may be in a bad mood, when you’ll want commitment because you’ll feel strongly towards them despite any fears, they might be unable to give you that and when they do want a commitment, and are choosing you wholeheartedly and are willing to take accountability, learn, and do better, you might be close to fully convinced that your values are too different and that you’re not compatible so you may not want commitment. I’ll start with their pros once you’re in a committed relationship with each other. They’re going to feel like they don’t belong anywhere. Like, even if they’re grateful to people for being there, they won’t feel that genuine, heartfelt, warm, familiar and family-like connection with them but they’ll do so with you so they’ll greatly value you. “My heart is not here without you (it’s no fun without you here), I can’t live without you.” They’re going to feel like home to you and they’ll feel at home with you. They’re going to need alone time but might overthink, create limiting beliefs, feel powerless and just overall struggle with negative thinking, and when they might take alone time, sometimes you might overthink but even when they’re alone or/and resting, they’re constantly going to be thinking about you. I’m getting that you’ll be the first person who they’ll think of when they wake up in the morning and the last person who they’ll think of before they go to sleep. They’re going to understand your sensitivity and will be extremely empathetic, and loving so they’ll create a very beautiful and loving relationship with you in which you’ll both feel really whole.

They’re going to feel strongly towards you and will support you heavily. They’re going to be contemplative and might spend alone time thinking about you so that they can do what’s best for you, and guide you. They’re also going to have many wonderful insights and thoughts. They’re going to create a very abundant relationship for you, one in which you can feel safe and happy, and free enough to share your fears, sensitivities and truly, and deeply love. When it comes to their cons, let’s just say that their charm won’t magically disappear so there will often be third party situations even though, they won’t be unfaithful. So, I’ve been getting this for a while now but they’re going to possess great communication skills and their vocabulary might be really good, and they’re going to be a real charmer. They’ll have incredible leadership abilities and that is going to cause others to feel a certain heat around them, it’s going to cause them to feel attracted to your spouse and that’s going to be a source of stress, and overthinking for you. They’re a very passionate person and with that comes impulsivity but they’re going to honour you as their divine counterpart so they’re not going to get engaged in or let any passion grow towards anyone else. They’re going to be very action oriented, a go getter and well admired so they’re going to receive tons of romantic attention but they’ll not feel passion towards anyone else, and they’ll have tons of integrity and will be too busy talk to anyone enough for things to grow as well.

They’re not going to change so they might give off the wrong impression by seeming open and curious to others. There’s a certain level of playfulness that I’m picking up on but it seems to be very innocent. They genuinely won’t be intending for things to be taken any other way. They’re going to seem very present to the people around them so others will develop feelings for them and might misunderstand things. It’s funny because most of them are going to be very ambitious so it may be difficult for them to give you time at times. They’ll have a lot of love for you but they’re going to be very busy as a person. Even so, some of them, they’ll tire themself out with work or still trying to manage and maintain the relationship properly so they’re going to contemplate things a lot, and might struggle with resting and might be forced into it. Another thing that I’m picking up on is that if it’s work that burns them out, they might feel really vulnerable, contemplative, overwhelmed yet apathetic about not being able to give you time. They’re also going to be very dominating, will crave truth and communication at all times, and will want to lead the relationship so that might lead to clashes but I still feel like they’ll do a really good job with it. Another thing is that they might demand clarification if you’re too busy or were too busy and you might not like it. I hope that you liked the reading. Thank you so much for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

So, I decided to pull ten cards each for the pros and cons in sets of five each, and guess what? For the pros, two of the same cards came out in the same position as they did previously i.e. the second and third card out of five cards. You might be the type to stress and get so paranoid that you genuinely start believing that your fears are true even if logically, you’re aware that they aren’t. One such fear and belief that you seem to possess is that your partner might not be over their past, might not have moved on from it. I’m not sure if you think this way already but you will in the future when you’re with your spouse and they’re going to alleviate your worries by reassuring you that that’s not true, and that they’re completely over their past. They’re not going to be blindly romantic. Some people are so in love with love that they become blind in it and do not really know how to love for real due to over romanticism but they’re going to be different. They’re going to believe in equal give and take in relationships, and will be incredibly service oriented. I’m getting that they’ll have been of service to people in the past and will have been on the giving end, receiving nothing at all so they will have developed deep trauma themself, they’ll have been paranoid too and might still be, and will just deal with fears, beliefs and thoughts that they’ll genuinely feel to be true but they’re going to want to heal this side of themself for you, and the betterment of your relationship.

They’re going to be seeking true peace by releasing negative thoughts, beliefs, feelings and habits. Due to how service oriented they’ll be, they’ll want to be with a giver who they can give to wholeheartedly with a feeling of safety. They’re going to not want to have to question the genuineness, feelings and love of the other person, and the connection that they share/shared with their significant other due to how they’re always giving, giving, giving without receiving anything for themself. It’s not even about receiving for them, it’s about the principle of it. Like, “this person is willing to and trying to do this for me, they might love me after all” and that causes them to feel safe enough to give as well, you know? Another thing is that because they don’t go around getting romantically involved with just anyone, they’re going to be incredibly obsessive when in love with you. Some people are charming and flirty, and know how to make their sweet and flirty words sound genuine but your future spouse is not going to be like that. Some of you might doubt the genuineness of their words but they’ll mean a lot of what they’ll say. Obviously, you’ll share sweet nothings where you might ask them something ridiculous like “would you still love me if I was a worm?” And they might say yes even though if you actually were a worm, they’d probably walk from on top of you, crushing you with the weight of their shoes with no awareness of it at all xD.

So, something like that, they’ll not mean but when they say something like “I’d die for you”, “I’d live for you”, “I’d kill for you” and “I’d do anything for you.” They will actually mean it. You’re going to pretty much consume them, they’re going to be addicted to you. I’m picking up on that Camila Cabello song ‘never be the same’. I’m especially picking up on the part that goes “just like nicotine, heroine, morphine. Suddenly, I’m a fein and you’re all I need, all I need. Yeah, you’re all I need. It’s you babe and I’m a sucker for the way that you move babe, and I could try to run but it would be useless. You’re to blame, just one hit of you. I knew I’ll never, ever, ever be the same.” Another part that I’m picking up on is “you’re in my blood, you’re in my veins, you’re in my head.” They’re going to be a passionate person and will feel passionately towards you. I’m getting that the both of you will maintain really good physical connections in which they’ll be really cooperative with you. They’re going to teach you things, in the bedroom and outside it, and are also going to learn from and about you so that they can experience your physical connection at the highest, and most passionate form possible. They do have a tendency towards moodiness though but I feel like you’d like it because it came out in the pros section. Maybe, they’ll be the sulky kind of moody or maybe you’ll also be moody.

They’ll be able to handle your moodiness due to their own tendency towards it. They’re going to be a fair and respectable person because they’ll be very respectful, and will treat people equally. I’m getting them being kind and of service in general, not just towards you, and that’s a pro because that means that it’s a character trait of theirs. Some of you sometimes think that you’re moody, intense, overthink and that you would overwhelm your romantic partner but you won’t have to worry about that with them because they’ll not just leave you. They’ll have a strong sense of direction for the relationship and will want to make it work as much as possible, and they’re going to be driven to put in the work. They’ll also be action oriented and a go getter in life itself, they’re going to have goals that they actively work on pursuing and their sense of direction, and drive is going to influence you to be the same way. They’ll teach you a lot but will also be willing and consciously look to learn from others, experiences, feelings, and situations. Their humility, drive, passion, attachment and love for you, willingness to do, willingness to learn, and ability to teach, all of it is going to be something that you greatly respect and admire them for. When it comes to cons, they’re going to really complex. They’re going to love you a lot and will be possessive of you. They’re going to be intensely in love with you and will be obsessed, attached, and addicted to you so they’ll want to be around all the time.

When they will feel jealous and possessive, they’ll become moody and guarded or moody, and clingy and usually the former will lead to the latter. They’re also going to contemplate a bit and will feel really dissatisfied, questioning the relationship, and if the intensity, love and loyalty is just one sided. The possessiveness will be very intense from their side and possibly from both sides. They’re going to know that they can’t control you but they’ll want to keep you hidden away from the world so that no one can look at what’s theirs. Obviously they won’t do it (hopefully not) but the feeling of possessiveness is going to be THAT intense. They may feel insecure about the stability of the relationship and the family, love, and stability you share if you receive any external attention at all so that is going to be a point of tension but it’s just that they’re going to be very happy and satisfied with you, and will simply just want you to feel the same way about them and your relationship with them. They’re going to be yours, completely and so, they’ll fear that you might not be as committed and devoted to them on a very soulful, and deep level. It is not just “I’m committed to you so I’ll not do anything to sabotage it” kind of commitment that they’ll want from you but the kind in which you’re completely inaccessible to others. They won’t want you to isolate yourself but if you’re in a heterosexual relationship and they’re the man.

They’ll want you to be friends with just women and not even let other men breathe near you. It is not toxic though. Like, I’m not sure how to explain it but they need to be the one and only because they want to devote themself to their spouse the same way, making them the one and only. “Other women? Who are they? Why would I interact with them? I belong to only one woman in every way.” They will not want a simple committed relationship, they will want a deeply devotional one in which there is a very apparent distance between you and other men, and you do not intend to close that distance because you fully belong to them and do not wander at all or even feel the need to have guy friends. Many of them will not mind male acquaintances as long as nothing flirty happens but if something even casually flirty happens, it is going to wound them deeply. People might often misunderstand them due to how intense they are and how deeply they love. Possessiveness and jealousy are really pure emotions, they come from a very pure place but instead of trying to understand that they want to find the space to devote themself to one person and one person only, people might write them off as toxic and possessive because they want the same for themself so it is coming through as a con. I hope that you liked the reading. Thank you so much for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

Your future spouse is not going to be too stuck in a routine or will make it flexible for you. They’re doing to feel like they belong with you and you’re going to feel the same way. They’ll create a safe and happy environment for you in which you feel supported because they’ll care about you deeply. Your relationship is giving off the energy of a devoted knight and a queen. You’re going to be their dream come true and they’re going to be genuinely happy in your relationship. They will be accepting of your differences and will be keen on making it as beautiful as they can. They’re going to enjoy being around you so much that they may break their routine to come and see you or might come, and see you even if they’re tired from working. There’s a big emphasis on quality time here. You know, when a queen asks for a knight to show up, he will show up in her court so when you’ll ask for them to show up, they’ll do so too (if they can). Also, acts of service. They’re going to do things for you without any proper routine. They’ll just do it even if the timing is off. For example, if you are pregnant and ask for them to bring you something at midnight. If you’re able to wake them up, they’ll get up and get it for you even if all they want is to be able to fall in the soft, warm bed, and drift off to dreamland. Basically, they’ll be at your service at all times. They’re also going to be quite observant and curious as a person. They’ll ask questions or observe situations and people closely as they will be keen on learning, not just from you.

They’re going to be mentally stimulating and will have their talkative moments that will strengthen your bond through strengthening of the mental connection. They’re going to see you as a grounded and mature person who’s also friendly, generous, and has a big aura but they’ll see that you are sensitive and struggle emotionally at times so they’ll deal with your emotions in a compassionate manner. You’re going to be a very loving and empathetic person, and will be able to suppress your emotions really well a lot of the times but when it gets too much, your raw side is going to come out and they’re going to try to tame it with love, empathy, and compassion. They’re going to have a lot of hope for the connection but they’re going to be putting you on a pedestal. It keeps on coming through that you’ll be their dream girl/dream guy or whatever. They’re going to have a lot of appreciation for the sides of you that are visible after you’ve stripped off i.e. when you’re vulnerably yourself and literally naked. They’re going to love your body in all its glory with nothing on. They’ll make you feel like a dream because that’s what you’ll be to them - a muse. “Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts. Risking it all though it’s hard.” ‘All of me’ by John Legend. Even if they don’t create anything, you’re still going to be their muse. They’re going to try not to be egoistic and will avoid conflicts, will be very forgiving, and will try to make amends with situations. They’ll also be remorseful if they act egoistic at any point.

They’re going to want to create a space for you in which you don’t have to change yourself i.e. a space in which you still thrive, a space in which you’re still grounded, generous and warm, and don’t have to dim your light. They’re not going to be a stranger to heartache and sorrow. They’ll genuinely be worried about losing you. In the past, they could have been negatively affected by someone else’s decisions so that is going to be something that will have left wounds. They’re also going to feel remorseful, guilty and sad if they make you feel sad :,). Another thing is that, they might look through your phone or overhear something about you and someone else at some point during your relationship or/and marriage, and that could make them question the solidness of the relationship, causing sorrow. There could be someone that seems to be attracted to you so they might be worried that you could be attracted to them too, that you could feel more happy with them, that they might bring out a more happy and vibrant side of you or that you might impulsively do something with them, or even if you don’t, you could be suppressing the desire to. So they’ll feel sad about that. Now, onto the cons, they’re going to be delusional. What seems to be happening here is that they’re going to become controlling when they’re confused and genuinely believe that someone wants you when this someone talks to you a certain way or texts you. They’re going to lose their mind and will become very ruthless when such things happen.

They see you as someone with a lot of potential, someone who’s at the top and someone who everyone wants so they’re genuinely going to believe everyone wants you so they’ll get defensive due to confusion or because they’ll believe that you might not choose them. Actually no, they will want to be the only one, they’ll be mad that you even have another option. Even they themself will have many options so even they’ll have to choose between the potential to feel like the only one and their loyalty to you. They’ll love you but they’re going to be non confrontational and may not communicate until they absolutely cannot handle it anymore, and communicate in an overwhelming and aggressive manner. They’re instead going to contemplate, get nostalgic about old days, feel dissatisfied, might get distant, will have a negative focus and will feel bored, and apathetic too. They’re going to be really worried about the breach of contract, breach of fairness and loyalty so they might end up acting out in unfair ways themself. This can be avoided if you do everything in order to reassure them. They are going to need to feel like the only one. A monogamous relationship with complete devotion is very important to them and they’re going to be able to maintain it but if they feel like the relationship is not living up to their dream and ideal of monogamy, love, and devotion, they will start questioning everything. They’re genuinely going to believe that everyone wants you so that’s going to be a point of tension too because they’ll get jealous. I hope that you liked the reading. Thank you so much for reading, much love and take care.

[harmoonix]

Astrology Short Observations 💙 (special post because i missed doing these)

(Bear with me while we wait patiently for the avatar 3 trailer and read those observations, maybe you relate or not) 💙

💙 I have seen astrology is getting more hate with the years, well mostly on TikTok and maybe Instagram but people became more mean towards astrology

💙 If your ascendant ruler (the planet of your ascendant) aspects mercury, you might be known for your voice

💙 9th and 12th house placements are most likely to be in tune with magic, spells, astrology, incantations and so on

💙 Saturn in Scorpio might struggle with intimacy/being sexual or even sexual deprivation

💙 I think Pluto in Libra generation struggled to find their beauty or to love themselves. Keeping the balance between love and hate

💙 Sun x Ascendant in harsh aspects can cause so many identity issues/crises, having a hard time to describe yourself

💙 People with Capricorn x Gemini/Virgo x Aquarius combos are really skeptical people. Is also quite hard to please them

💙 Out of the whole signs i have seen Leo x Scorpio people being into each-other the most. These both share lots of things in common such as love for affection and physical touch

💙 Pisces and in genereal Cancer placements are really shy. They're definitely not the loudest in the croud but still very unique

💙 Mars in harsh aspects with Mercury can struggle with rejection. Or in denial. If you don't agree with them...they get mad

💙 Neptune in the 9th or 10th house natives are big dreamers. Sometimes wishing the 'celebrity/famous' kind of life

💙 Gemini Venus/Rising natives usually tend to have beautiful hands/nails, Gemini usually rules that area for them

💙 Cancer Saturn might struggle with affection or nurturing. They might not receive it at all or be cold when it happens to them.

💙 Every Lilith has their dark side, Lilith in air signs for example like to lie when things don't go their way

💙 People with Part of Fortune (PoF) in the 5th house usually get famous for their talents/lucky for their talents

💙 PoF in the 7th hosue gets lucky to have relationships with really good people, most times leading to marriage

💙 PoF in the 4th house gets lucky to have their family members. Someone close to them and its a very unique connection within their family

💙 If you and your dad share the same placements especially Sun or Mars, can indicate dads presence had a huge impact on your life

💙 Chiron in the 3rd or 9th house can have a fear of cars/vehicles/planes/trains, pay attention to accidents aswell

💙 Venus or Jupiter in the 1st or 4th house tend to very beneficial in the natives life. Your life could've been very provided

💙 Saturn in Aries transit which happens in our time might help you to take action when is needed. Do not hesitate to chase for the things you want

💙 Have a great week guys!! Wish you the best!! We are all hyped for avatar 3 to arrive this December!! Finally my comfort moviessss🤩🤩🤩🤩

[mickyschumacher]

[MEANS I CARE!]

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: isack is entirely confused why his best friend is avoiding him. or in which you realised you're in love with your best friend.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: childhood friends to lovers, mostly angst, bits of fluff, a reader with dismissive avoidant attachment, reader struggles with her emotions, initial anger from confrontational!isack but overall caring!isack, cute love confession at the end! // poorly proof read as usual

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: isack hadjar x bsf!fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 2.2k

𝐀/𝐍: poured a bit of myself into this one! it's hard to tell from my writing, but i struggle with expressing my emotions and telling people i care for them. i've heard it's quite common for older sisters to have avoidant attachment issues so... i guess i check the box ◡̈ anyway, this one might be a tad bit dramatic but lmk what you think! ♡︎ // also miss mcrae's album has a lot of avoidant attachment!!

🏎️ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | ⚽️𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

You and Isack were opposites in every sense that mattered.

Where one would claim he was too expressive, you couldn't bring yourself to show you cared.

Where he was indecisive, you held all rationality.

And where he trusted freely, you locked yourself up.

But nevertheless, you had been childhood friends since he moved next door to you. Neither of you had a problem with the way you both acted. It was sort of like give and take: where you lacked, he made up for it and vice versa.

It never really mattered. At least that's what you thought anyways.

This year was different from every other. There would be no other like it. Because Isack was debuting as a Formula One driver. His life long dream. And you couldn't be anymore proud.

You didn't outright say it–you couldn't. You remember smiling when he told you and saying congratulations before Isack simply rolled his eyes and pulled you into a hug.

You remembered him thanking you when you pulled away, stomach churning at the lengthy hug. You were confused. Eyebrows furrowed, you asked why.

"For believing in me," he said with the most beautiful smile and the warmest brown eyes holding your own.

That was the defining moment... the moment you realised you were in love with your best friend.

There were signs. There were always signs.

Your extensive care for him and only him. The constant worry every time he went out on track. The small skip in your heart beat when he'd return home with your favourite ice cream. Your slight amusement when you'd pretend to be cross with him and he'd think you were being serious. The little trinkets he'd bring back from every race to put on the shelves in your bedroom. Or the way he lowered the volume of the TV before you'd even ask him to because he knew you didn't like it.

They were always there. But the line between best friends and whatever... it was so similar... so blurry. How could you've ever known?

But that day... it was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over your head and reality had finally been opened to you.

You loved Isack. Not liked. Not admired. Not fancied. Loved. And you had been for years.

God it scared you. It terrified you.

People never said it to you but you knew how you were.

When you invested too much of yourself into one thing, you stopped it only moments later. You didn't want to stick around to see if something would be good. It was the assumption it would hurt. So if you could dismiss it before it even had the chance to... that's the only way you could ever relax.

You never understood how people did it. How you could give so much of yourself away. What happened when it all inevitably failed? Why wouldn't you protect yourself first? Why did you have to deal with the mess of emotions?

Loving Isack... it meant showing the most vulnerable sides of yourself. And it's not that he didn't know you. He was your best friend, of course he knew you. But that made it worse.

In your years of friendship, you had cried twice in front of him. And you hated it every single second of it. That he could see you break down. That you weren't the strong friend he normally relied on.

Loving Isack was going to fail.

You knew it.

You knew it when he crashed in the formation lap on Australia and it felt like a part of you had been ripped and torn into pieces when you saw him cry on the screens.

You knew it when he came to you, thought to be out of tears, but almost on his knees, hands immediately wrapping around you for a hug, asking you why this had happened to him and you couldn't do anything but apologise to him and tell him he'd come back stronger while you cried so silently.

When his parents thanked you for being there for Isack... fuck, you knew it would all backfire.

So you slowly stopped. Like you always did.

Fewer texts. Fewer jokes. More lies. Forcing yourself to do something–anything–else but care too much.

You hated it. You hated that it was bringing you some calm despite your body screaming at you.

It was getting difficult to keep it up. How many more times would you blamed it on the time zones? As if you hadn't memorised them the moment they came out. As if you hadn't been doing this his entire career.

But the small break after the Saudi Grand Prix meant Isack was back home. After you had missed your usual good luck text.

You had forgotten actually. You were in your room, studying quietly, unaware anyone would be home as your workaholic parents were out like normal.

Consequently, the thumps up your staircase were loud, almost deafening. Your ears perked up as the door of your bedroom went wide open.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Isack's shrill voice echoed in your bedroom, chest heaving as he stood in front of you, arms firmly to his side.

You turned from your desk. You eyed his attire briefly. The hoodie and sweatpants, the bags under his eyes... he'd probably just come from the airport. The one where you'd usually be waiting for him. "Excuse me?" You asked, throat dry from not speaking in hours.

Isack blinked, swallowing. He took a step forward to you, eyes flickering over you rapidly to see if you were okay. "Is something wrong? A-Are you sick? Are you stressed? Tell me what's wrong so I can fix it."

You could feel it. The tear in your heart growing while annoyance boiled under your skin. He didn't need to fix you. That was your job.

"I... I don't know what you're talking about," you sighed out, standing from your desk before you walked to your shelves. You chewed on your lip, nervously eyeing the trinkets Isack had brought you.

You needed this conversation to be over before it went somewhere else.

"Putain de merde," Isack swore, running a hand through his hair. He walked to you again. "Like hell you don't... you don't talk to me for a week and avoid my calls and you don't know what I’m talking about? Like I'm crazy?" He asked with a small scoff.

You sucked in a sharp breath, turning to face him. "I told you with the time diff–"

A loud groan interrupted your sentence. Isack breathed slowly, fingers pressed on his nose bridge. "I swear to fucking God, if you mention that stupid fucking time difference again, I will lose my mind."

You stayed quiet. You weren't sure what to say. You wanted to peel out of your skin, you were so uncomfortable. You hated confrontation. Isack knew you hated confrontation. And yet...

Isack sighed quietly. He stepped closer to you, holding your hands with his gently. "Please, ma moitié. Please tell me what's wrong. Did I do something? Why... why won't you talk to me?"

Your eyes burned at the crack in his voice. Fuck, this sucked. You hated yourself for feeling like this. It was like it was on the tip of your tongue but you could never get it out.

"I..." you said shakily, forcing yourself to remove your burning hands from his while you pretended like you didn't see the hurt flash in his eyes, "It's nothing. Nothing is wrong."

"So it is something. Something has been bothering you. Since last year... since I told you about my seat... something's been wrong. What is it? What happened?" Isack queried softly, brown eyes searching yours so deeply for an answer.

He noticed. Of course he did.

Shit.

"You know you can tell me anything."

But I can't! You wanted to scream it. You just couldn't tell him.

"Isack, please... just– you know how I am. I'll deal with it, hmm?" You said, trying to muster up a smile.

He stared at you quietly and you were scared he was seeing too much of you. The debate in his eyes... the way he chewed his lip... he also couldn't tell if he should say it.

"You want to cry," he stated, making your eyes widen. "I can see it in your eyes. The redness. Your red cheeks. You want to say something so just say it! I'm worried for you."

"Stop saying things like that." You let out an exasperated groan. You brushed past him, clambering into his shoulder. "I don't understand how you do it," you murmured angrily more to yourself than him.

The tears were freely flowing down your cheeks before you knew it. You glared hard at your desk, eyes hot as though it would stop you from crying.

You couldn't see it but Isack could feel his heart breaking at the sight of your figure shaking. You could feel him gently lay his hand over your shoulder. "It's okay to cry," he mumbled, "I wish you wouldn't hide it."

You felt sick. Like your stomach was churning. It felt like his hand was leaving an imprint on you, searing you. Exhaustion was clouding your body. Exhaustion that had built up over the course of the past few weeks.

"I can't do it like you, Isack. I can't show I care. It's so hard. It's like I have to constantly fight myself," you quietly said, unable to bear this any longer.

"Hey," Isack murmured, hand travelling to your face to turn you to him. His eyes softened at your wet cheeks. Wiping them with the pads of his thumbs, he held your chin with his thumb. "It's okay. You don't have to do anything like me. Take your time. Do what you want when you want."

You breathed quietly while you stared at your best friend. He was right. It wasn't as easy as he made it sound, but you were so tired of feeling like crap. You focused on his encouraging smile and opened your mouth.

"I... you were right. I was avoiding you," you admitted, eyes falling to the floor in embarrassment. You could feel he wanted to say something but he stayed quiet, waiting for you. "I was avoiding you because I care."

Isack furrowed his brows. "I don't understand."

You chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating how much you wanted to say... how much you could say. "Last year... when you told me you got your seat, you thanked me."

He nodded in agreement. "For believing in me. Because you always do," he murmured, his free hand rubbing your own softly, comforting you.

You smiled gently at his words before taking in a sharp intake of air. "It just made me think, well, realise that I'm in love with you. And I always have been," you breathed out, the weight slowly lifting off your shoulders.

You could see Isack's eyes slightly widen but you continued. "And that terrifies me, Isack. Because it means I care. I care a lot for you. And I'm scared that because I care, something will go wrong. I-I didn't mean to shut you out. It's not what I want. It's just all I know. So I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I'm dumping this on you when you don't feel the same way and–"

"Wait, wait, wait," Isack interjected, hands both reaching to hold your face gently. He held your eyes with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. "Who's says I don't feel the same way?"

You mouth felt dry, heart speeding. "I... You do?"

Isack smiled, laughing softly as he nodded. "I thought it was obvious. That maybe you just didn't feel the same way."

He watched a dark expression fall on your face. You were in that same dreadful space you had just been in. "Hey, ma moitié, what's wrong?"

Your eyes fell to his once again. "What if I can't love you enough?"

It sounded strange but he knew what you meant. Even with all your care... what if you couldn't show you loved him enough? What if you couldn't express it?

"Not possible," Isack retorted, casually shrugging.

"But I–"

"I see it," Isack firmly told you, quietening you easily. "I see it when you're at my races and you stand on the side, letting me go to my parents first. I see you and your camera taking pictures of us when you think I don't. I see your heart. I see all of it."

You blinked, eyes burning all over again. For the first time in forever, you stepped forward, hugging him tightly. "Je t’aime, Isack.

His arms wrapped around yours, holding you closer to him. Isack smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Je t’aime, ma moitié."

"Did you bring me any souvenirs?" You mumbled against his shoulders, sniffling slightly.

You could feel his body rumble with a chuckle. "Depends. did you even watch my race or were you busy 'sleeping?'"

You pulled away, making a face, guilt still swirling within you. "I did watch it. You know I watch it even when I'm mad at you," you pouted.

Isack grinned. "Then of course I did."

© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑

[plaguedarts]

THE DOODLVERSE!

So this is basically just a collection of my personal designs/headcanons for the digital circus main cast :]

+ More headcanon info under Read More & a little life update at the end!

Okay headcanon info dump lets go!!!

Pomni: The circus's newest and squeakiest jester. She's incredibly good with numbers because her special interest is math. She's been diagnosed with Autism since she was young, but pursued an ADHD diagnosis as an adult. (Headcanon based on @bluepandadraws-log's comics). She's pansexual but doesn't really like to tell people about it unless they're close. Her tail seems to move of its own accord, and Pomni has very little control of it.

Ragatha: A dolly that's a lot tougher than she looks, with a complex for taking care of everybody except herself. Ragatha has many unaddressed "issues" that make her see herself as damaged and too far gone to be saved. She's never sought a diagnosis or therapy for any of it while she was still in the real world, so she isn't even aware that she shows symptoms of OCD. (Headcanon based on ‪@fridgevespidae comics). She's adapted to life at the circus but is by no means comfortable in it. Jax and Ragatha dated in the early days, but Ragatha wasn't all that attached to the relationship. She cared about Jax and still cares about him, but she just didn't LOVE him. She still isn't really sure if she likes guys, but liking girls is something she isn't ready to address yet.

Jax: A rabbitoid who entertains himself by any means possible (usually involving cartoonish violence). Despite how jerky he can be, deep down he cares about everyone else in the circus, especially Ragatha in particular. He's still not over his feelings for her even after all this time, and he's not sure how to cope with them. He's not sure how to cope with most things really. He definitely projects his own insecurities onto people, and he's got a fear of being alone with his thoughts. Can't be with people, can't be alone.

Kinger: The eldest of the group, a king piece who's largely lost his mind. He walks around with a hunch, yet his character model is still the tallest! He has a pet caterpillar toy named "Bug," and it's always crawling around somewhere on him. He may not always be of sound mind, but he only means well.

Gangle: A sweetheart with a mask as fragile as her feelings. Gangle remembers the anime shows she grew up watching more than her own life. She knew very early on that she was different from most people, and thought she had herself mostly figured out until she started questioning her gender identity and sexuality, not to mention being diagnosed with autism as an adult. She likes the label "pansexual," but still doesn't have a solid answer on her gender. For now, they call themselves a "demigirl." Zooble and Gangle are greatly able to relate to each other's struggles, making their bond even stronger. Gangle also has full control over her ribbon tail, often using it as a second appendage.

Zooble: Our local amalgamation of parts that really really doesn't want to be here! Zooble has tried to make the best out of their new body, but can't still can't find something that just feels like THEM. Though certain parts like the fox tail and cat leg seem to put them a bit more at ease. Without Gangle, they might have already gone insane. She's the only one that Zooble truly trusts. (Zooble is also in love with Gangle but in complete denial over it).

Okay now for the life update!

Soooooo I've been gone for quite a bit, and some of you might be curious as to why. I'm still alive as I can be, rest assured. I was just busy focusing on college since this was my final semester leading up to my graduation! It sucked and it burnt me out but I MADE IT!!!

I'm taking these next couple weeks to be lazy, but now I can focus a lot more on my art and stuff!

If you read this far give me a "🐛" because bugs are cool

[casscainmainly]

A Deep Dive Into Why Cass Threw Dick Out A Window

If you've been here long enough you've probably seen or heard of this moment, which is super hilarious and iconic. It's mostly discussed in reference to Dick and Cass' relationship. However, in my opinion Cass throwing Dick out a window had very little to do with her opinion of him, or even of Barbara; it has more to do with her understanding of romance and love. I briefly touched on this in my gender/sexuality post, but I'm going to explain more in depth my interpretation of how Dick functions in Batgirl (2000) as a whole. (This moment is very open to interpretation though, this is just my opinion!). So let's try to answer Dick's question: what was that all about?

Love, Language, and DickBabs

While Puckett's run is notable for not having Cass date anyone, romantic love does play a role in Cass' early understanding of the world. It's the impetus that spurs her to write: in issue 2, she sees a wife read a letter from her deceased husband, and her reaction affects Cass so strongly she immediately starts trying to write. (She also kisses the husband on the cheek earlier, which may or may not be a crush). Romance, and the ability to communicate your love, is a fundamental part of Cass' desire to learn language.

So we have Cass, who has experienced neither love nor language, living with Babs, who's in a relationship with Dick. This telephone conversation in #4 (the issue where a metahuman changes Cass' brain into understanding language) again links romance to communication. Dick and Babs are talking on the phone, unable to see each other but understanding each other perfectly; Cass and Babs, on the other hand, live together and can't understand each other at all.

"She can't talk, so it's not all that different [to living alone]." Babs is telling an eavesdropping Cass that her inability to speak prevents her from love and connection - a love and connection symbolised by one of the first romantic relationships Cass is consistently around, Dick and Barbara.

Dick as an Ideal

There's a debate whether Cass likes Dick or not because half the time they're friendly, and half the time she's punching him or throwing him out windows. This disparity makes sense if you consider that Cass strongly associates DickBabs with communication, understanding, love - very idealised notions - but she does not associate Dick as a person with them. Her interactions with Dick (sans Babs) are cute and normal - Batgirl #29 and Nightwing #81 feature some very adorable Dick-Cass moments, with no real tension whatsoever.

It's only when Cass sees Dick in a romantic light (as in associated with Babs) that she makes him into a symbol.

Cass often tries to copy Babs, thinking it's the 'correct' thing to do - in DC First: Batgirl/Joker, she goes after Joker because that's what Barbara did; later in Horrocks' run she'll wear Barbara's outfit. In a way, Cass' affairs with Tai'Darshan and Kon - as much as I do think Tai'Darshan was genuine attraction - is another way to 'copy' Barbara. In #42, Cass stares at a picture of Dick and Babs while asking if Babs likes boys. Obviously Cass knows the answer is yes, but see what she asks next, and how Barbara responds:

She shifts from 'like' to 'love', and Babs responds that she 'care[s]' about him. For Cass, whose arc in Horrocks' run is about parsing out the nuances of attraction, understanding the difference between like, love, and care is incredibly difficult. She struggles to separate familial from romantic (Bruce in #50) or romantic from platonic (Kon, and in somewhat the reverse way Steph). In this conversation, Cass comes to associate Dick with like, love, and care - DickBabs becomes not just a symbol of romantic love, but of any connection whatsoever.

The Old Costume

I've discussed elsewhere that Cass wearing Babs' old costume in #45 is a representation of her desire to be 'girly', and how she associates girlhood with someone other than herself, discarding her own costume for Babs'. But putting on a costume is not the only prerequisite for being a 'girl'. In Babs' speech to Cass, she emphasises being sexually attractive to men, with her final comment being about this "particular look Dick used to give [her]". For Cass, visual language is incredibly important; putting on Babs' costume is not about being or feeling like a girl, but about being perceived as one. Dick is symbolic of the perceiver: the one who can essentially 'grant' women their femininity.

But Cass is disgusted when Tim calls her hot, which adds to her confusion - why should Dick being attracted to Babs make Babs happy, but Tim (who's not a sibling at this time) perceiving her like that grosses her out? Cass' inability to feel good - to feel 'feminine' - through the male gaze is another sign, to her, of her failure to be a woman.

Which finally brings us to issue 46...

That Ableist Kon Comment

Cass finds out Dick breaks Babs' heart and then starts hallucinating on a drug. One of the things she hallucinates is Kon saying "who wants to date a cripple? Ain't that right, Nightwing?" and Nightwing responding "not me--at least, not anymore."

For the first time, we get to the heart of why DickBabs mattered to Cass: it was an example of a disabled person in a loving, romantic relationship. It goes back to that phone call in #4, where Babs implies that Cass is hard to care about because she can't speak. The Kon comment suggests Cass has carried that with her all this time, trying to find proof that she can be loved, no matter her disability. DickBabs showed her it could be done - the break-up shows her now that it can't be done.

Dick's hallucination mocks her disability: "look at her--she can't even read!" Attributing this mockery to Dick (whose real-life counterpart, unlike the other hallucinations, has never said anything remotely like this) shows that this 'Dick-as-ideal' is intrinsically tied to Cass' self-worth.

Honestly this whole post stemmed from me thinking about this one panel. There is no real reason, from Cass' view of Dick as a person, for her to think he's brave and noble and kind (more so than anyone else). But it's in the DickBabs context - that Dick seemed to love, wholeheartedly, a disabled woman - that makes Cass think this way. And now that DickBabs is broken up, it shows that she, too, is rotten to the core; that someone like her cannot be loved.

And so when Dick shows up, she throws him out the window.

Conclusion

In this moment, Cass isn't just reacting to Dick breaking up with Barbara, she's reacting to what it means to her. If Dick can't stay with Barbara, then that means Cass, as another disabled woman, is also unable to be loved. This all leads up to #50, which features another Cass punch to Dick's face, but more importantly is when Bruce and Cass reconcile through Cass' first language. It's a confirmation that though her verbal skills may not be fully developed, she still can communicate, and she can love and be loved.

I don't think a lot of the ideas I touched on here are fully developed, or conclude cleanly. For example, how does Cass' 'failure' to be a woman relate to her inability to be loved? Is she able to have a stable romantic relationship? There are lots more questions, but the role Dick specifically plays in Cass' understanding of romance is probably not going to develop further. I just think it's interesting how Horrocks uses the Dick-Babs relationship to explore Cass' identity.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I deleted the ask, but someone wrote one basically saying "why do you post reaction videos to Helluva Boss? Don't you know the show exploits its workers and they're overworked and get burned out?"

And, I mean, I love your energy, person who asked, definitely hold on to those values and speak up about this. But also, I am afraid I might have some bad news for you about literally the whole entire animation industry.

As near as I can make out from the sparse journalistic reporting that's been done on SpindleHorse -- and as a sidebar, please for the love of god read actual reporting about these things and not just callout posts and fandom discourse -- as near as I can make out, SpindleHorse as a studio is neither all that much better nor all that much worse than basically anywhere else in the industry on their level. It seems like it is (or was? Hazbin Hotel seems to be run differently) a studio mostly run by contracting people on a project-by-project basis, which leads to a crapton of turnover, and a huge need for organizing and onboarding, which according to the reporting I have read, the producers and freelancers have struggled to balance and manage properly, which has negatively impacted a number of the workers.

Top that with the usual catty, clique-based backbiting, sniping and poorly managed conflict resolution that's just kinda endemic in creative environments mostly staffed by twentysomethings and stressed out freelancers, and you have the recipe for a workplace where a lot of people are going to have a great time and feel creatively fulfilled, and a lot of people are going to come away feeling justifiably burnt the fuck out and exploited.

All of this is... not especially unusual for the animation industry, or indeed for any creative industry. Which is not to say that it is good, or that it should be allowed to be normal, or that it shouldn't be reported on and criticized (and please for the love of god support unionization efforts because that's the only thing that will actually address these kinds of systemic problems). It's just to say that if those kinds of issues are the line in the sand you draw where you refuse to engage with a studio's output...

Then, for starters, say goodbye to basically all of anime, because the Japanese animation industry is actively in a state of crisis trying to recruit new talent because its working conditions and pay are so astonishingly abysmal. And the horror stories that escape from that industry make the issues at SpindleHorse look like summer camp at times.

But you also have to say goodbye to a lot of American and European animation. Please do not imagine that Disney and its subcontractors, or that Nickelodeon or Warner Bros, are benevolent employers. They exploit their staff brutally and are currently trying to crush the labor value of animation with threats of generative AI being used to replace jobs. But those corporations also have extremely well-funded PR departments and the ability to silence employees with NDAs and threats of blackballing, so you don't get to hear as many of the horror stories as you might from a smaller independent studio that's less able to silence criticism by holding people's careers hostage.

All of this is to say that 1) it's valid and important to have criticism of both large and small-scale animation studios, and to keep the well-being and happiness of the workers higher in your priorities than the output of Products™.

And 2) if you're going to have a principle for what kinds of problems make a studio's output morally untouchable for you, and what kinds of problems you think should make a studio's output untouchable to other people, you do need to apply that principle consistently to the entire industry, and not just to the independent animation studio that happens to be surrounded by the internet's most inflammatory fandom discourse.

If you don't apply that principle consistently, maybe don't send reproachful messages to strangers scolding them for not living up to your standards, and even if you do apply that principle consistently, maybe still don't do that, because it's mostly quite annoying, and doesn't really do anything to support animation workers struggling for better working conditions.

The Animation Guild in the US is currently in the middle of a bargaining process with their industry, and they have a social media press kit as well as relevant talking points on their website which you can use to post in solidarity with the workers. If it comes to a full industry strike, consider donating to their strike funds to help them maintain pressure. Outside of the US, try and find out what (if any) local unions exist for animation workers, and maybe sign up to their mailing lists. They will let you know what kind of support they need from you.

[seleneprince]

Yours, never ours

Pairing: Damian Wayne x Sister! Reader (platonic), Tim Drake x Bruce Wayne's daughter

Warnings/tags: implied stepcest, talks of neglect and child abuse, daddy issues, descriptions of violence and blood, damian doing his best.

Synopsis: Damian secretly treasures every moment he gets to spend alone with his blood sister, bonding and hopefully mending the bridge between them. However, there's a topic that keeps bothering him and needs her to tell him the truth. Or, Damian asks his sister a question about their father and ends up learning just how far his shortcomings can go. (He also struggles to supress his desire to murder Tim Drake)

Continuation from If Walls Could Talk.

Check the AU's masterlist for more

"Why do you call him that?"

It was one of those rare evenings where they were working in the same space, together. He was finishing some extra homework on coffee table, sitting on the ground near the fire, and Ukthi was on the couch, programming her latest project.

It wasn't common they had time to just be together, alone. Both their schedules were packed and they led very different lives. Regardless, Damian enjoyed these moments even more because of their rarity.

They were alone, everyone else out doing their own thing, so it was just the two of them. The blood siblings. Standing together and bonding as they should. As they always should've.

Not so long ago, she wouldn't stand being in the same room as him, too scared and too resentful to so much acknowledge him, so the fact they've come to moments like these are proof of how much they've advanced in their relationship.

Of course, Damian doesn't blame her. With time, he's come to the realisation of the extense of the pain his actions inflicted on her, and the dreadful consequences that came afterwards. She has every right to resent him, even to try and claim revenge upon him. He's grateful she gave him a chance, as fragile as it feels sometimes.

Which is why he tries his best to strengthen their newly found bond, to value every second of these rare moments as if they were the last. Each one feels a step closer to redemption for his mistakes, his agravations against his sister.

He can't speak for the others, but it's not his bussiness to care whether they're trying too. They should be aware of their actions as well, just like he does. And frankly, he doesn't want them to intervene now. To interrupt his time with her and steal her attention.

"What do you mean?", she looks up at him with a confused gaze (not so long ago, she never looked at him in the eyes. Having her turn her attention towards him still makes him feel weird)

But there's been something pestering his mind lately. A question. An enigma he can't quite understand. Something only she can give him the answer to.

"Why do you refer to our father like that?"

She visibly tenses, but her face doesn't betray any particular emotion.

He would admire her for such skill, if it wasn't so damn effective against him as well. He hates not being able to read her out of all people.

They're supposed to be understand each other better than anyone.

"Like what?"

He squints his eyes at her in annoyance.

"You know what I mean."

"Is it because I call him Bruce instead? Well, everyone else does. It feels more natural. You're the weird one in this house, Dami."

He ignores the flutter in his chest when she calls him that.

"Yeah, but that's because the others aren't really his children. They're not used to call him anything else."

Besides, he's sure he heard Richard and Tim call him Dad a few times. Accidentally, but still...

At first he didn't pay mind. Mostly because they were still on thin ice and he refused to entertain her presence any more than he had to, but he it was there.

"Tell your father to stop treating me like a baby. I don't need his concern now."

"Your father is an asshole sometimes."

Then they started to patch things up, spend more time around each other, and he started to notice it more.

"Should I tell your dad you got into another fight?"

"Geez, your dad really needs to improve his security system already."

He thought it was some joke. A form of protest against Father's authority, like Todd likes to do. He was her big brother the most afterall, he must've influenced her a bit.

But she kept doing it. And when she does, it comes out so...naturally from her. As if she doesn't think deeper of it. As if it's normal.

He needs to know why.

"Why do you always say 'your father' or 'your dad' when we talk about him?"

Silence.

Her fingers twitch on the keyboard. She shifts in her seat, suddenly avoiding his eyes.

"Well, he's your father, isn't he?"

She replies nonchalantly, like she's just stating a fact and doesn't understand what he means. Her face going neutral once again.

But Damian knows better.

He has had time to know her better.

He's willing to admit now that he failed her. There's no excuse for it. To say they weren't always on the best terms is an euphemism. A sanitised version of the events.

When they first met, she tried to bond with him, like everybody else. Seeing like a misguided child who needed help, and his newly found younger brother. But Damian hadn't appreciated her intentions, nice as they were.

Back then, he was still fresh from the League, from his grandfather and mother's teachings, and he just found out he wasn't Batman's only biological kid. That he wasn't even his firstborn. He had a blood sister, and the traitorous voices in his head (sounding suspiciously like Mother) whispered how she was a threat to his position. That she stood in the way to his birthright.

And he listened. Acted accordingly how he was taught and tried to slice her throat on her sleep. Eliminate the threat. That act was what sealed it.

Even if he couldn't bring himself to finish the job in the end, he still ruined whatever chances he might've had to have a solid bond with his only blood sibling. Years passed, both living under the same roof, yet the distance only grew.

By the time the regrets were eating at him, it was too late. It has taken him blood, sweat and tears to simply be allowed to stay in the same room as her. And how could he blame her? He still has dreams of that night, when his sword draw a line that separated her throat and her blood coated everything around them.

They've gone a long way since those days. Yet he feels there's still a lot more to do.

"He's your father too." He replies. "Ours."

Silence again.

She inhales deeply, and exhales like it weights on her.

"It's a bit more complicated for me, Damian."

"Why?"

He doesn't understand. Sure, he knows Father might've not been the best at it, especially with her, but he's still Father. Hey the ribbon that ties them both together through blood.

So why does she never say "ours"? Why does she keep denying their connection?

Why does she keep separating herself from Damian?

He wants to understand.

"He's been a father to you, to everyone. Not to me. Never to me. Therefore, don't expect me to call him something that he's not."

"But he is—"

"Not for me."

The sudden coldness in her tone makes him flinch. It leaves no room for reply.

It's been a while since he's heard it directed at him. He hoped to never hear it again.

She seems to notice, for she relaxes her expressions instantly and sighs with a regretful face. She finally sets her laptop aside and turns her body to face him.

"Look, Damian. You're a smart kid. Probably one of the sharpest I know. But there's stuff you simply can't understand, and this is one of those."

He frowns at her words. "I'm not a kid. You can tell me."

"I just did and you still didn't get it."

"Then help me to!"

Her eyes look straight into his own. Baby blue eyes, identical to Father's, piercing at him with a severity that reminds Damian of the times he's been on the receiving end of a dissapointed look from other set eyes just like those...

Blood is thicker than water, indeed.

No matter how much she tries to deny it. It's there, within her, running through her veins. In her very core. She's Bruce Wayne's daughter in all ways.

And his sister.

"Damian," she speaks up again, and something in the way she says his name makes him sit up straigher. "I understand you love him. He cares for you. You've been taught since birth who he is and how you're meant to be an extension of him. Of his legacy or whatever bullshit your mother told you. But to me," she sighs again, averting her eyes towards a wall. "To me he's just the man that lets my and my family live in his house. Someone I share DNA with, and that could be a potential candidate to give me blood or a kidney shall I need it. That's it."

"But—"

"Let me finish." He shuts his mouth inmediately. "He's never been there for me. I didn't even know he was my father until Mum brought me here. And in all the years I've been here, living under his roof with his surname, he hasn't even tried to bond with me. I worked myself to exhaustion just for his attention, to make him proud, but I got nothing. He's made me feel Iike I wasn't enough, like I didn't deserve his love or anyone else's but my mother's." Her voice cracks at the last part, making Damian's chest ache at it. His hand twitch with the need to reach out for her, but thinks better of it.

They're not close enough yet for her to accept his comfort. She would take it as pity and close herself off again.

So he stops himself. No matter how much he wants to try. How much the sight of her unshed tears in the corner of her eyes hurt him.

She shakes her head as if to snap herself out of it, rubbing her eyes with her fingers like she was cleaning off some sweat. She coughs softly and looks back at him. The wet glint in her eyes gone.

"He's your father, Damian. Not mine. That's why I'll always refer to him as such. Because it's what he is. Because that's just how things are, and I'll appreciate it if you accepted it already."

"But he—"

"Damian, please." It's the first time he hears her pleading at him for anything. It unsettles him. "Let's not talk about this anymore, okay? I'm tired. And you won't get it no matter how much I try to explain it. So, let's leave it here."

For once, he doesn't insist.

Not because he's satisfied with her answers. Far from it, even. But because he's never heard her use that tone with him nor anyone. Just like he's never heard her voice crack when talking.

His sister is a proud and stubborn creature. She would rather stab herself than so much admit she needs help. Has gone unhealthy lenghts to appear strong even when she isn't.

So for her to display this fraction of vulnerability, although accidentally...it means she's had enough.

And Damian has to respect that.

Last thing he wants is to push her away.

"Alright." He replies, his tone betraying how unsatisfied he is at how the converstation ended. "I'm sorry, Ukthi." He mutters sheepishly, but she hears him.

She smiles, gently. "Thank you, Dami."

It's embarassing something so simple makes his heart flutter so much and his cheeks redden. He scowls, pretending to be annoyed, and tries to return his attention to the book while she chuckles.

For a moment, everything is at peace. Ignoring the storm in his heart at the revelations and feeling like a piece of the world fell on him.

Having the same father is precisely what ties them together. It's the core of their bond, the reason they exist in the first place. They both have his blood running through their veins, something no one else can understand. Being Bruce Wayne's heir is a weight he can only share with his blood sister.

To know she doesn't even acknowledge Father as her own, that she draws an invisible line between her and Damian without realising...it stings in a way he can't explain. It worries him too.

Because if she were to officially deny her connection with Bruce Wayne, she could separate herself from all of them. Damian included.

He doesn't want that. He can't allow that. She's his sister. His. He can't lose her. Her place is right there, with him and Father, standing by their side when—

"What are you guys whispering about? Can I join?"

Oh, and here he was thinking it was going to be a peaceful evening.

As if his sister's sincerity hadn't shaken him enough, now he has to endure the most agravating thing of all there is.

Timothy Drake.

He doesn't care it's Drake-Wayne in paper. He refuses to recognise this asshole, this traitorous worthless worm, as his family.

To make it worse, Ukhti inmediately turns her face towards him, rising her eyebrow in a playful manner.

"I though you were going to be busy today."

He looks at her with the same kind of expression.

"I wrapped it up earlier than I planned. Crazy, uh?"

Damian's eye twitches, his hand clenching dangerously around the edge of the book. He calculates the right angle to kill Drake if he throws it at him.

The bastard has the gall to stare at her as if she's the only one in the room. In front of him.

He dreads to think what else they might've been doing behind everyone's backs..

She doesn't notice the growing wrath coming from her brother, still looking back at the intruder with a smile.

"And you decided to come and spend time with us instead? I'm flattered."

"Well, maybe I missed you, guys." He shrugged his shoulders, placing his hands on her shoulders from behind her seat, brushing her hair out of the way. "And I don't trust you out of my sight so long. Who knows what you'll be up to?"

She gasps dramatically.

"Me? I don't know what you mean. I'm an angel. Isn't that right, Dami?"

It's then when Drake finally looks at him...with the utmost indifference.

"Oh, hi there, Damian. I didn't see you from here."

Damian exhales through his nose. Oh, there are so many ways he could tear this son of a bitch apart. He deserves a slow, painful death. Fitting for his crime.

The nerve of displaying his indecency so openly when he's there, not caring at all...Damian wants nothing more but make him bleed out with his sword

If only he told Father. He knows he would punish Drake accordingly, but insisting enough, he probably wouldn't mind allowing Damian to take care of it himself.

But he can's say anything for now.

Ever since he caught them that afternoon in Drake's bedroom, kissing like it wasn' the first time nor the second, he's been spiralling almost to insanity on how to deal with the discovery. One only he is aware of.

He told himself he will wait to the right moment. Drake is a damn genius, there's no way he would fall for a trap. Hell, he's always two steps ahead of everyone, including Batman sometimes.

No. Damian knows better. He has no option but wait. If he exposed them now, it might hurt Ukthi more than Drake himself. And Damian won't let that happen.

So he tries to focus back to this book, telling himself that it's okay if Drake sits right next to her, way too close to be appropiate. He closes his eyes and counts back to ten when he hears the asshole whisper something in her ear that makes her giggle and punch him in the arm softly.

I'm right here, you piece of shit.

Right on cue..

"My little brother is here, idiot. Don't push it." He hears her mutter back.

Now it's his turn to get flustered.

Of course, she'll be the one with decency and consideration out of the two. Another reminder of how Drake doesn't deserve her at all.

"And? He has his own bedroom. He can leave if he wants."

Damian feels his face burn with rage back again.

Oh, Timothy, you're so dead. You're a dead-man walking and you don't even know.

She lets out an annoyed sigh, promptly turning her face away from him.

"I'm not going to kick him out to his bedroom. He was here first."

Yeah, that's right. He was here first. He's been her brother far longer than Drake has been...whatever the hell he is to her. If anything, he's the one who should leave.

Maybe forever. Damian will be more than happy to help with the process.

Completely oblivious to the younger boy's annoyance, or simply not caring, he wraps an arm around her shoulders and brings her closer to him, much to the boy's horror.

Without a single sign of decorum, he lays his cheek against the crown of her head and sighs pitifully. While attaching himself around his Ukthi like a snake.

"C'mon, I've been working my ass relentessly these past days. Barely got to sleep at all. Don't you feel sorry for me?" He whispers again.

She lifts her head to look at him, a playful glint in her eyes.

"And what do you want me to do about that?"

"I don't know. Maybe you could join me on my naps."

She huffs, her eyes still locked in his.

"As if you'd ever behave long enough for us to actually nap."

"Hey, not my fault you look so damn cute sleeping in my shirts. I'm just a man, you know?"

She chuckles, shaking her head.

"Right. Poor you, unable to repress your manly impulses when a helpess girl is in your arms."

It's him who chuckles this time.

"Helpless my ass. You know exactly what you do to me."

"Is that so?"

She tilts her head innocently at him, blinking like she doesn't understand what he means.

Damian closes his book loudly enough to make them both snap out of it and look at him.

Tim merely raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, you're still here? Don't you have homework to do or something, Dami?"

The boy ignores him and stands up, walking towards his Ukthi. He clenches his fists when she tries to remove Drake's arm from her shoulders when he approaches, but the bastard tightens his hold.

I will make you beg for mercy, Drake. Just you wait.

"It was a pleasing evening, Sister. I hope we can repeat it soon enough."

She nods at him with a surprised glance.

"Oh, of course. I won't mind, I think?"

He smiles at her, heading to his bedroom to and cut his pillow into million pieces with his sword as he pictures Drake's face in it.

And as if the son of a bitch hasn't aggravated him enough..

"Goodbye to you too, Dami. Geez, what's up with him today?"

One day.

One day, Drake, I will make you pay.

Just right before he turns the corner of the hallway, he throws a look at them.

His sister is laying completely against the worm, relaxed in a way that's not usual in her. They keep whispering, and she drops her head into his shoulder. Burying her nose in it with her eyes closed in what seems like a pained expression.

And in that moment, Damian's heart beat stronger, fuelled by something else than anger.

He might not be your father, he thinks. But you'll always be my sister.

That's right. It doesn't matter how much Father has failed her. How everyone else in this house seems to have abandoned her in some way or another.

Because he'll be by her side forever.

I'll protect you and care for you no matter what.

Even if that means getting rid of one of his brothers to do so.

Taglist: @cybergoth1, @i-simp-for-women, @luludeluluramblings, @odetothemaiden, @cxcilla, @dawnbreakerswife, @0bticeo (to all of those who showed support in the previous part 💖 thank youu)

[kapsloc7]

FINALLY POSTING THIS!!1! This was a huge project for me (literally, it is 3 feet tall!) based on Will Wood's 'The Normal Album' and my personal relationship with it. I threw a ton of references and symbolism in here, it was a ton of fun to create :)

Rambling about details under the cut.

Also: If you enjoy this, I have prints (and other things?) available here!

ALRIGHT BUCKLE UP BECAUSE I HAVE LOTS TO SAY

This painting is acrylic on a 24"x36" canvas, created as part of my portfolio focusing on human experiences and mental health. I wanted to make a painting about music because it's a very important thing to me, and was ultimately inspired by the song Memento Mori, The Most Important Thing. In the end I decided to base it off The Normal Album in its entirety.

The most obvious reference is the outfit, of course. I took all my own reference photos so it isn't an exact match, but is of course in spirit Will's outfit from the album cover. The only symbolism in this is the expression of masculinity in the suit, and a slight bit of femininity in the painted nails. Nothing too deep about it, I just wanted to throw in some gender fuckery because of my trans-ness.

The keyboard itself isn't a reference (I mean it's just my keyboard) nor are the books behind it (Just there for composition) but I put some stickers on the keyboard to throw in some extra references and symbolism. First, the "Give Me That Old Time Religion," both a Self-Ish reference and inspired by the sticker on Will's keyboard. Second, the pride flag being covered by an upside down American flag. This was something more personal I threw in for fun, about my distaste for the US and the oppression of queer people here. Also, I threw in the window from the album cover (but empty)

In the background, there are silly references to specific songs, (white picket fences, barbed wire and trenches, and the 222 for 2econd 2ight 2eer) and some more personal references as well (pill bottle ties into themes of the album as well as my own mental heath issues.) The potted plant has a bunch of symbolism thrown at it, and was inspired by lines in well better the alternative and Outliars and Hyppocrates, kinda a bit about feeling restricted by pressures from yourself or others causing you to uhhh. not be okay. and the pot design is based on the keys of Will Wood's keyboard as well as kinda an Everything Is a Lot reference.

Hand stuff: Bracelets are bracelets I made, mostly just for fun to provide more visual interest. Both kandi bracelets are inspired by Will Wood of course, the visible letters reading 'Memento Mori'. The grey bracelet doesn't have the letters visible, but it reads 'not afraid to die' The rings I wore were also personal fun. The white ring on the middle finger is a bit of queer code representing Aromanticism, and an engagement ring on my ring finger. Just representing the struggles I've had with sexuality and relationships and such.

Finally the chains, wallet chain was thrown in to represent financial pressure, and the one over the piano is the actually important one, representing how shitty it feels to turn creativity into a career, and feeling forced to create. There's more thrown in here probably but I'm tired and basically wrote an essay already so UH. GOODNIGHT IF YOU READ THIS FAR I LOVE YOU WAAAAA!!!! PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS I LOVE TALKING TO PEOPLE

[insanity6666]

Molten Hearts 3.5

Vulkan keep vigil over you.

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, brief talk of confinement/captivity, brief mention of pregnancy. Vulkan letting his dragon tendencies show.

Apologies, this is a short one. Getting through this was a struggle. I had a vague idea for the scene but not much else. Also, I couldn't think of a way to lengthen it without it being weird or janky so... small one for y'all to gnaw on.

Part 1, Part 1.5, Part 2, Part 3

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Vulkan timed the machines with your breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Your heartbeat, the soft rhythm, accompanied the monotone sound, telling him you were in a deep, restful slumber. A healing sleep. 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He sat on the chair that had been brought in for him, elbows on his knees and hands clasped at his chin. He hadn’t moved since he had returned from his duties, the meeting with the elders and his officers. He had made sure everything was in order so he wouldn’t be interrupted. He needed to stay with you. He promised to be here when you wake.

The bed was too big for you. It was made for Astartes, of course, but Vulkan demanded you receive the best care, and that meant you would be placed here in the Apothecarium instead of a baseline hospital. His sons, thankfully, had thought ahead and prepared the necessary equipment for you well before your arrival. They had admitted they hoped it would never be needed, they wouldn’t abide risking their Legion Mothers health by being ill-prepared or leaving you in the hands of other baselines who weren’t part of their legion and didn’t understand how valuable you really were.

They forgot about the bed, though.

The thought almost made him smile.

The injuries weren’t serious, really. Vulkan knew that. He had read over the medical report dozens of times. Every update or change he was alerted to, no matter how small. He knew you were alright, all things considered. The worst was the broken pinky finger, and that was only a minor oblique fracture. The rest were mostly bruises, a few stitches from where stone had cut or embedded itself into your flesh, and a general stress from the encounter. You’ve had and walked away from worse on the battlefield. He knows this.

But you were meant to be safe here. This was his homeworld. Where his influence and strength was at its greatest. The seat of his power. Yet here you lay, in a medically induced sleep to aid in your recovery from an encounter with a salamander.

He knows, logically, that it was a complete accident. A one-in-a-million chance. A random happenstance. A prime example of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. He couldn’t have known what would happen. It was no one's fault, except whoever hadn’t put up the perimeter defenses properly. That issue had been dealt with.

Vulkan still felt like it was his fault. He failed to protect you. He hadn’t been there. The only reason you were still alive is because Kessok had been with you. 

His hands tightened their grip as he watched you sleep. His mind mulling and gnawing over every injury. As much as it wasn’t productive, it helped him ignore the swirling mess of conflicting instincts and emotions in his head right now.

He hated that he wasn’t there. He was disappointed that it was one of his sons, not him, that was there to save you. He was proud his son had protected you. He was awed by your defense of Kessok. He was terrified when he saw you sitting in front of a dead salamander. He was worried for you while you lay here resting. He was honoured by your offering.

‘By the Great Forge, your offering…’ Vulkan closed his eyes as the memory replayed in his mind again. Both you and Kessok sitting in front of the dead beast, wounded but victorious, smiling in relief and triumph. His focus was on you, however. Your smile, the way you reached for him even as he pulled you into his arms, how you relaxed the moment you were safely in his hold, the pride with which you presented your courting gift.

He shifted slightly in his seat as a slight discomfort began to grow, even as he scolded himself for it.

‘This is neither the time nor the place.’ He thought as he opened his eyes, focusing on you again. ‘It is inappropriate.’

Vulkan couldn’t help it, despite his self-admonishment. You didn’t know, not truly, what you had done. You gave him one of their most ferocious creatures, something that would provide food and materials for his people and for his personal use, if he so chose. You removed a threat to the community. You had defended the city and its people. More directly, you had defended one of his sons. 

Kessok’s helmet had been recovered, which had been idly recording despite not being worn, a habit the young Astartes had developed, which allowed them to capture the encounter. The angle and positioning had not been ideal, but it allowed Vulkan to witness most of the fight.

He saw how you had attracted the beast's attention when it focused on the pinned Space Marine. Saw how you used the environment to your advantage. Saw you drop and disappear under the beast's bulk, only appearing again in a mad sprint towards Kessok somewhere off-screen. He saw the stone pierce the salamander's skull as it chased you, tumbling out of frame. 

He felt something primal well up as he recalled the details. You were so clever, so brave, so fierce. You had taken his sons as your own, and protected them as such. You were strong and beautiful. The thought of you protecting your own brood of little ones -that he would give you- made him stifle a groan. That thought immediately followed one of you quickening with his child. Growing round and soft, safe and warm and always within reach.

Slowly, he stood. Mindful of the tubes and machines as he stepped closer. He placed a hand on the wall above you as he leaned over your sleeping form. Peaceful. Bruised, but beautiful. His free hand slowly rose, the back of his knuckles grazing your cheek, careful of the scratches there.

“You do not know what you do to me.” He breathed, voice barely a whisper. The cold prickle of anxiety melting away in the face of the warmth that bloomed in his chest. It spread steadily, like lava pouring in the rivers of his veins. 

“I will not abide any threat to you. I need you safe. To be far away from danger.” He paused as he watched your eyelids flutter as you slept, your face turning slightly towards the warmth of his hand. Even in sleep, you reach for him. “I want to lock you in my chambers, away from anything that could do you harm, never to leave except with me at your side. It is selfish, I know. I cannot stand the thought of losing you, now that I have been confronted with the possibility. I want to keep you close, safe and warm and content. Forever with me.”

He closed his eyes and breathed. Slow. Steady. In. And out.

“But that would kill you. I know it would. You would hate me, and that…” He swallowed, unable to speak as his mind recoiled at the prospect of such a horrible fate, “I can’t. I can’t smother your light for my own selfish wants. I want to, but I love you too much.”

It was a terrible truth, his only mercy is that you were far too deep in your dreams to hear him.

***

@incrediblethirst, @kit-williams, @beckyninja, @bleedingichorhearts, @jaghatai-khock, @pluvio-tea, @moodymisty, @thethronezone, @iluminatka16, @runin64, @vithralith, @mooniequeen

If I have missed anyone in the taglist, please let me know!

Also if the links don't work, I'm always suspicious of them.

[celestialxgarden]

What color is your AURA?

𓇬 𓇬 Masterlist with all my previous readings. 𓇬 𓇬

Pile 1

Your aura is green. There are some blue undertones, but I’m mainly seeing green.

You seem to be operating mostly from your heart chakra. A lot of energy is being generated from your heart.

You have a very romantic and harmonious disposition. I feel like you embody a lot of grace quite effortlessly. There are also some soft pink tones coming from your aura. I feel like you are a very beautiful person and you radiate that out.

You have a very open and receptive heart space. I feel like there’s a lot of love that you want to give to people. I get the idea that you believe that every person is deserving of receiving love and adoration. You have a very kind and caring nature. You are very intuned with the energies of others. I feel like you always strive to create a balanced and harmonious atmosphere. I get the idea that you tend to avoid conflict. You don’t like to surround yourself with chaotic energies. I do think that if you find yourself in drama, that you would try to create peace. I feel like you have a lot of understanding and sympathy for others. You come across as a very affectionate and loving person.

A green aura is typically indicative of someone that is able to love unconditionally.

I also saw that your root chakra might be blocked. This usually stems from a place of fear. I feel like there are some issues when it comes to your personal power and security. There is a disconnection with your base needs and the wants of your heart. You could potentially have some sexual blockages as well.

I get the idea that you might feel a lack of control over your own life. I feel like you are more focused on the wants and needs of other people that you struggle to meet your own. There is this energy of feeling unsafe and anxious. I feel like you could have issues with standing up for yourself. I also get the idea that you struggle when things happen outside of your control. When there are outside forces influencing your life. I feel like it makes you feel powerless. It would be beneficial for you to try and balance your Muladhara center. You could do this by chanting the seed sound “LANG”.

Repetition of this mantra deepens concentration, gives awareness and inner strength. It helps with taking away insecurities.

It would also be favorable to avoid unpleasant smells.

Pile 2

Right now, your aura has a muted orange color that is barley visible. It’s looks like your aura is being covered or suppressed in some way. There is a heaviness surrounding your energy.

I feel like your aura has the potential to be extremely bright and radiant.

I get the impression that you are a very sensitive and empathetic person. That you often take things to heart. You are very easily influenced by the energies of other people and I think that this has something to do with the state of your aura.

I get the vibe that you’re a deeply caring and compassionate person. Your energy feels very watery, it can therefore easily get polluted or influenced by outside sources. This is because water in itself is a very pure substance.

I feel like there is a lot of negative energy around you at this time. It almost feels like you are energetically in a state of hiding. That you are trying to make yourself unseen in order to protect yourself. I feel like you could also be isolating yourself at this time. I get the impression that you used to be very social and outgoing in the past. That you were very spontaneous and cheerful. It feels as if your losing your confidence and becoming more insecure.

There is so much warmth and radiance buried within you. I feel like you are such a friendly and sweet person. You are someone that can offer a lot of joy and happiness to other people. You have a very encouraging and uplifting essence.

I think that you have the potential to radiate a very bright and inspiring light.

If I look at your aura without all of the heaviness, it has a very bright orange/yellow color. It is very vibrant and uplifting. It has a very stimulating quality to it. It make you feel awake and energized. It gives vitality and optimism.

I think it’s important that you dedicate a lot of time to self care. That you really try to nurture and nourish yourself at this time. I feel like you’ve been neglecting yourself a bit, so I think it’s time to make yourself more of a priority. I also think it’s important to make yourself feel happy. Do something that will make you feel joy, that will give you a sense of hope again.

Pile 3

You have a mainly blue and turquoise aura. Your aura feels very calm and serene. I feel like you are someone that has no problem with staying calm under pressure. I feel like you almost never get stressed. You come across as being a very peaceful and relaxed person.

I get the impression that you’ve totally surrendered to God or the universe. There is a lot of trust there. I feel like you believe that everything happens for a reason, so there’s no need to stress yourself.

I feel like you are more detached when it comes to outcomes. You have a lot of faith in the universe and that it knows what’s best for you. I do believe that this has come over time and this trust was really something that you had to learn.

Some people could perceive you as being more aloof or indifferent.

You seem to be disinterested in a lot of mundane things. You seem to be very much in your own world. Something about you feels a bit distant. I get the feeling that you don’t like letting people inside and that you prefer to be alone.

I also get the impression that it’s easy for you to read other people and to understand what is going on with them internally, but it’s difficult for others to read you. People often wonder about what’s going on in your head. I think they sometimes perceive you as being a bit cold or unemotional, but you’re actually very in touch with your emotions. You seem like someone that is very emotionally stable.

I do feel like you have a lot of compassion for others and that you’re able to feel things very deeply.

Your aura also has a very healing and comforting vibe to it. It feels very soothing. There is a very pure and innocent quality to it.

I get the idea that you’re a very intuitive person. You’re very receptive to divine guidance. I feel like you have a heightened sense of awareness and perception.

There are some shades of this cinnamon, bronze like color. Which give you a very stable and down to earth disposition. It makes you a reliable and dependable person. People who have this color are typically very honest and also have a lot of integrity. I also feel like you have a sense of humbleness and humility about you.

Thank you for reading 🌙

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these images. All credit belongs to their respective owners.

[freakingholland]

freakingholland's batboys headcanons part 1

A/N: Hi cuties! After posting some dc comics related imagines over the last couple of years I've decided to finally post a list of my own headcanons for batboys! Just a disclaimer - these are based on multiple dc related media (comics, shows, fan-made content) as well as just my imagination. I do not mean any harm with these! Also if you agree/disagree with these let me know in the comments/asks/rbs because I'm super intrested in what you guys think and your own fanons! Stay whelmed xx questions/ideas here! - rules here my AO3 archive is here If you enjoyed my work: Ko-fi.com/freakingholland masterlist

Dick Grayson (25-29ish yo)

Wears contacts all the time when he’s out. His sight used to be perfect up until puberty. Only wears prescription glasses when he knows he’ll spend the entire day wearing sunglasses – has prescription on them (he does have an emergency pair of regular glasses though).

Has a deep set of dimples. More visible when he’s a dehydrated raisin of a human being. He has a special bottle for just water to force himself to drink more.

Is left handed. His siblings bother him for that matter when he accidentally elbows somebody while eating.

Is “silently” addicted to energy drinks. Has tried to switch to other beverages but ultimately always goes back to energy drinks.

Sings in the shower, has a genuinely good singing voice. Pretends to be shy when people suggest doing karaoke.

Has chronic wrist pain due to a bad fracture.

Is a minimalist. Hates clutter and frequently gets rid of things like clothes, unnecessary gadgets, kitchen utensils etc.

Loves rock climbing and bouldering.

Has pockmarks on his cheeks. Had tried different products to make them fade away, but gave up and accepted his fate.

Uses a lot of post-it notes around his apartment.

Jason Todd (22-24ish yo)

Jason is the only one with brown eyes. You cannot convince me otherwise. Don’t try to.

He’s the best cook out of all the guys. Finds it very therapeutic. Genuinely enjoys making meals especially if others can stop by for dinner or pick up his food. (always makes me think of those pics of him and Dick in the kitchen in Gotham Knights!)

Has type 1 diabetes, uses a pump. (As mentioned here!)

Has a private library stamp for his book collection because any time someone visits him, somebody borrows (steals) books from him.

Plays the violin, self-taught as an adult. It’s his “safe” hobby that convinces his neighbours that he’s just a regular guy.

Has a full arm tattoo sleeve, it’s his way of dealing with body dysmorphia and body image issues. His tattoos include book references, fav movie characters and different symbols for all of the siblings (not their super hero stuff though, for safety reasons).

Has reading glasses. (As mentioned here!)

Hates arugula, loves Italian cuisine. He is not afraid of carbs (his glucose monitor states otherwise) and makes noodles often.

Has wavy hair but doesn’t use proper products for his texture.

Has veryyy straight teeth naturally. Others are jealous.

Tim Drake (20-21ish yo)

Journals. Even when he’s severely sleep deprived. It’s his way of dealing with heavy stuff, but also his archive in case he goes missing.

Has a nintendo switch. Doesn’t really use it but he knows that Damian steals it that’s why he keeps it instead of selling it.

Has a proper skin care routine. It includes dying his hair dark every 4 weeks cause he has gray hairs due to stress.

Uses ktape regularly. Struggles with chronic back pain and uses a foam roller.

Is vegan. Doesn’t try to convince other peeps to switch to veganism knowing that they are barely capable of making food for themselves. Will make an exception and eat meat if it’s a meal prepared by somebody close to him.

Is a huge music fan, listens to music often. Mostly metal, but also pop, rap. Doesn’t really discriminate music genres.

Loves playing board games. Is the type to bring board games to social meetings of sorts in case people want to play.

Has a very pleasant, contagious laugh. Rarely laughs out loud, but those who know his laugh try hard to make him laugh for that matter.

Has really sparse facial hair. Would like to grow out a stache or beard but cannot.

Blushes very easily. Doesn’t like it. Despises cold temperatures for that matter.

[itoshiexx]

wonder

synopsis: sae wondered what it was like to be loved by you.

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 800 | warnings: established relationship, tooth rotting fluff, sae is stupidly in love with u

notes: why hello! i'm barely alive! i know i kinda disappeared but i was struggling with personal issues and my mental health, so i didn't really have creativity to write. i'm not sure i like this either, but i couldn't let sae bae's bday go by without posting anything. also this is slightly inspired by the song "wonder - shawn mendes". thank you for your love and patience! <3

masterlist

there are certain things itoshi sae would never admit. like the way he loved calm walks at the beach or how seagulls were his favorite animal. how he secretly regret hurting his little brother’s feelings when he was a stupid teenager. how his life was way lonelier than the world could even imagine, making him hate the walls of his oh so empty apartment.

mostly, he would never admit he wondered what it was like to be loved — not just by anyone, though, but to be loved by you.

he’s not sure when it started. he can’t pinpoint the exact moment his heart began beating faster and his black and white world was filled with color, but he does know that, inevitably, it all comes back to you, like you’re some sort of big bang that created his whole existence. itoshi sae doesn’t think he was actually himself before he became yours.

if you ask him, he’d say it’s a bit pathetic, really. he was never a guy that cared about romance, and he definitely didn’t believe in the concept of a love that could sweep you off your feet, like the hollywood movies desperately tried to sell. perhaps one of the reasons he liked you so much was because you managed to prove him wrong, and not many people were able to do that. 

sae was usually right. but you, in his life — that was even more right than his stupid beliefs. 

“sae, i need to get up,” your voice breaks him from his stupor, and, instinctively, his hold on your waist tightens. it’s some sort of protection, he thinks. not to you, but to protect him from the pain of having you stray away. 

(he never wants to let go).

the football player twists his body to trap you even further on the mattress, burying his face on your chest and tangling his legs with yours. your giggle reverberates through his whole body and brings warmth to his cheeks. his heart flutters, and he can’t even find it in him to hate it. 

you must have put a spell on him, he concludes.

“i’m serious. i need to make breakfast,” you say again when he doesn’t answer.

“don’t wanna.”

“you don’t want breakfast?”

“nuh-uh.”

you giggle again, and this time, you seem to give in, relaxing your body and welcoming him in your embrace. sae can only sigh in satisfaction when you card your fingers through his reddish-brown locks, relishing in the peace only you seem to be able to give him.

“i wonder what people would think if they knew how clingy the all mighty itoshi sae can be,” the teasing lit in your tone doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and you earn a scoff.

“shut up,” he quips, although there’s no real bite in it. “you love me.”

and you must not be from this world, because it’s easy — the way you pick up on any slight nuance of his voice or demeanor. it’s so fucking easy for you to read him like an open book and to give the reassurance he so desperately needs; albeit unaware. 

your voice becomes impossibly soft, “i do, baby. i love you so much.”

you kiss his forehead, and after wandering around for so long, sae thinks he’s finally home. 

for a while, you two just stay there, in bed, wrapped in each other in a way you can’t know where he starts and where you end. the thought of being one with you makes him happy, but that’s just another item in his long list of things he would never admit. 

your sweet voice breaks the silence. 

“we’re gonna be in bed all day?” there’s nothing but pure curiosity in your voice. no judgment — you never judge him, despite the way he deserves it sometimes. the thought makes his chest tighten with the amount of love he has harbored just for you.

sometimes he thinks he’s too small for it, and he’s scared all this love will overflow and consume him whole. though, it’s even scarier to think he wouldn’t mind: sae is yours. you can have all that he has and all that he is. 

“just a little longer,” he whispers, a little more vulnerable than he would like. but it’s okay. it’s always okay when it’s you. “please?”

you hum in agreement, continuing to caress his hair. 

“of course. whatever the birthday boy wants.”

sae allows himself to close his eyes and bask in your warmth, on the safety that you so effortlessly gave him. by smelling your perfume, he’s filled with gratitude for all the times he wondered what it was like to be loved by you.

“happy birthday, love.”

he’s glad he doesn’t have to wonder anymore.

© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

[thankskenpenders]

IDW's Knuckles 30th Anniversary special

I'm still working on finishing Shadow Generations and writing up a big thing about it (yes, yes, it's taken me a month to finish a four hour game, I know), but in the meantime we've got another new Classic era comic out from IDW! Let's talk about that.

The last Classic era release we got was the Fang miniseries earlier this year, which I mostly enjoyed but also found a bit underwhelming. It felt like we were getting diminishing returns with the Classic comics. Ian seemed to be struggling to make the Classic era feel fresh within Sega's current restrictions for that branch of the brand, a branch that by its very nature discourages experimentation and new ideas in a way that the ever-evolving Modern era doesn't. He was mostly just playing the hits, sticking the currently permitted Classic era characters next to each other in straightforward one-off adventures and letting the art team do their thing. We were getting the Ian who was happy to simply be able to take these toys out of the toy box. Again, these comics have been fine, and the art's always a treat, but the novelty of simply seeing a comic with the old character designs was wearing off for me when the stories didn't have as much meat as Ian's (or Evan's) excellent Modern era work.

And then along comes this Knuckles 30th Anniversary special, which is by far my favorite Classic Sonic comic Ian's written for IDW.

...I can't really talk about why it's so good without getting into spoilers, though. The short version is that it's a really nice little story about Knuckles and another character from the games, who's used as a great foil for him... except the solicit didn't even say which character it is, so I'm hesitant to say here. But if you're a fan of Knuckles, you should definitely just go read this. It's great. This one's mandatory reading to me.

And with that out of the way, let's dig deeper and get into the spoilers.

The spoiler zone

After an opening that very blatantly homages Tyson Hesse's old Knuckles comic (yes, the very same one that helped inspire the name of this blog), Knuckles realizes that Angel Island has drifted near the Northstar Islands from Sonic Superstars, and decides that the Master Emerald must be giving him a mission to train the archipelago's own resident guardian.

Yes, this isn't just a Knuckles comic. It's a Knuckles and Trip comic!

I was really delighted by this. I like Trip a lot, and it's nice to get this chance to expand upon her as a character. I think this is her first speaking role, even? I'm glad to see her stick around, and I'm glad to see her appear in the comics so soon, especially since we're still waiting for the mainline comics to incorporate Sage. She's still clumsy and fairly timid, like in the game, but without the looming thread of Eggman she gets to let loose a little. She's very exuberant and expressive and playful, especially thanks to Aaron Hammerstrom's fantastic art throughout the issue (complemented with inks by Rik Mack and colors by Valentina Pinto). It makes sense why she gets along so well with Amy. I hope we get to see those two interact more in the future!

Anyway, so Knuckles shows up on the Northstar Islands after contemplating his lot in life, and realizes that he and Trip have a lot in common. She's not as strong or confident as him, but they're both the last of their kind, these lone guardians of these ancient magical gemstones. He's showing up under the pretense of training her, but you can tell it's nice for him to have a kindred spirit, someone who might be able to really get him.

And then Trip's like... wait, you think I'm the last of my kind?

Yes, the Northstar Islands have actually been inhabited by a whole civilization of sungazers like Trip the whole time! We just didn't see them in the game because, y'know. Eggman was attacking. So Trip told everyone to find shelter and hide from the Badniks. (This actually makes a lot of sense, since you pass by this very village in Speed Jungle Zone. Somebody's gotta maintain those straw roofs and light those torches, and I can't imagine Trip managing all that upkeep herself.)

This also includes a grandfather for Trip, who's been training her as the archipelago's new guardian. Naturally, this has led to some speculation from fans about the old "mandates." In the wake of the Penders lawsuits and Archie's reboot, Sega declared that the comics could no longer create comic-original relatives for the game characters. Has that changed now?

Well, I'm hesitant to read too much into this. For one, as Ian has tried to drill into peoples' heads for years now, the so-called "mandates" aren't a set of concrete commandments from Sega, they just have some general guidelines for the brand, some of which have more wiggle room than others and some of which have changed over time. There's also the simple fact that Sega is working way more closely with the team at IDW, and that people like Ian and Evan are literally on the official Sonic lore team now. Ian can presumably work with the lore team and Sega to figure out Trip's family, and then go and work what they've decided on into a comic, so it's entirely possible Trip's grandpa isn't considered a comic-original character so much as he's a character conceptualized at Sega who just happens to have appeared in an IDW comic before anything else. The lines are a lot blurrier now with all this cross-pollination, compared to the Archie days when it was a separate creative team and a separate canon.

But, again, I don't want to speculate too heavily about what goes on behind the scenes. Regardless, Ian was able to use this comic to expand upon the world of the games and the characters that inhabit it, and I love it for that. It's the first of these Classic comics that feels like truly mandatory reading for the way it builds upon the games. These days we so rarely get to see communities like this in the Sonic world with their own cultures. It's not like we know anything about "hedgehog culture" or whatever. So this is a nice change of pace. The Northstar Islands feel totally different now that I know they've actually been inhabited the whole time, and knowing that Trip is part of an active community with their own history and customs puts a whole new spin on her as a character.

It also makes her a great foil for Knuckles here. He showed up on the island thinking he'd have a lot to teach Trip as someone who's got more life experience as a lone guardian, only to realize his assumptions about her life were completely wrong. Trip brags to her grandpa that Knuckles is gonna train her, but he quickly realizes he doesn't have much to teach her. She may be kind of cowardly, but she knows her way around the island, she can think on her feet, and she can handle herself well enough in a fight, in her own slapstick way.

He doesn't say as much, but you can tell Knuckles is embarrassed about all this. This clumsy kid is showing him up, even though she won't even really listen to his advice! He's also, perhaps, a bit jealous. It's not like he had a grandfather to train him in the ways of being a guardian. (Not in this continuity, anyway.) He doesn't get a whole village of echidnas to teach him about his heritage. He doesn't get fancy ceremonial armor. It's just him, a big green rock, and his two fists. He thought he had this whole guardian thing figured out, and he'd be able to give a kindred spirit like Trip some advice, but it turns out she's lived a whole different life, making him question if he even knows what he's doing. He quickly gets fed up with both Trip and himself, blowing up at her a little.

After reflecting a bit, Knuckles goes back to Trip and comes clean. He doesn't really know how to train her, because no one ever trained him. He figured things out on his own. If he had anyone there to raise him, they've been gone since he was too young to remember. He just knows he has to protect the Master Emerald. That's it. It's a pretty vulnerable moment for Knuckles, one where his dissatisfaction with his life comes to the surface.

Still, Trip sees things differently. He may be used to the fact that he lives on a giant floating island powered by a giant magic emerald, but she thinks that's, like, the coolest thing in the world. HER islands don't fly! And while Knuckles might wish he had someone to train him, Trip thinks that Knuckles becoming such a fearsome fighter all on his own, without even armor to protect him, makes him super awesome and admirable. With both of them feeling better, Trip takes Knuckles to Golden Capital to talk about her heritage as a guardian of the Northstar Islands a bit more, and Knuckles tells her that he thinks she'll be a great guardian before he heads home, once again feeling pretty good about himself.

While this is a pretty straightforward little story about how the grass is always greener on the other side, it's a very effective and sweet one that I enjoyed reading a ton. Aside from the fun of learning more about Trip and the Northstar Islands, it's just a great showcase for Knuckles. (It's definitely a way better showcase for him than his Paramount+ show, as much as I took sick pleasure in that show's baffling creative decisions.) There are also some fun details about his life in here, such as the fact that Sonic, Tails, and Amy have taken camping trips to hang out with him on Angel Island, and the fact that he trained Amy in using her hammer better.

It's just real good, and it feels like the most meaningful addition to The Canon out of any of these Classic era comics Ian's written. We're still gonna be getting more in the future, so hopefully this is a sign that Ian and the lore team have found that happy middle ground where they can keep the Classic comics familiar and nostalgic while also being able to branch out and expand upon things.

Speaking of future comics!

Coming attractions

The end of this issue confirms some things that are in the works for IDW Sonic. For one, we're getting a Chaotix 30th Anniversary special next year. Neat! They also mention some kind of Shadow one-shot dropping following the movie, however fans seem split on whether this is referring to a new story or just the "Best of Shadow" compilation one-shot that's coming out next month. So don't get your hopes up about that in case it's the latter, I guess.

And while we're still waiting for issue #75 of the main series, the IDW team is already thinking all the way ahead to #100, which should drop sometime during the 35th anniversary of the franchise in 2026. Clearly the team's still confident about the longevity of IDW Sonic and excited for the future. And I am, too! Bring on #75!